Being a doormat goes beyond just being an Obliger who wants to help, or being Non-Preferential and going with the flow.
A doormat has preferences, and doesn’t speak up about those preferences. A doormat is characterized by Self-negation.
Doormats are, unsurprisingly, very Resentful. Not that they’d let anyone know.
Why Do You Act like a Doormat?
Doormating is Maladaptive Coping Mechanism for Dealing With Pain.
A Slave will have an easier life as a doormat. If they push back against the things that cause them pain, they get even more pain. Better to just shut up and take it. It’s the Freeze response in The Five Fs.
Doormating is a form of learned helplessness caused by scenarios where speaking up and pushing back didn’t fix anything, and in fact only made things worse. Pain Is Stronger Than Pleasure.
Doormats will often act as caretakers, ignoring their own needs to serve others. If the guy with a whip has a problem, it’s your problem. Make him happy first, then you can deal with yourself.
How Do You Stop?
If Doormating is a way of dealing with a painful environment, then it can be solved by getting out of that environment.
Remove tyrants and Lose Lose Scenarios. Find people and roles that respect your choices.
Slowly, regain your Locus Of Control & Self-Efficacy.
Doormats Know What They Want, but need to practice listening to that little voice.
Security is critical. You must know that you can survive the pain that comes with standing up for yourself. Confidence is an Abundance Mentality. It’s hard to stand up to a boss if you have nothing in savings.